Thoughts in my head at 2 AM

As usual the last moments of my day end with thoughts of K only this night I couldn't get them to end in sleep so here I am at 2 AM blogging. There is so much on my mind. I hope that by blogging I might sort out all my thoughts.

How did I get to this point? Am I crazy? Plenty of people think that I am, most of them are Christians (ha ha- sarcastic). Going to K has not been a random, quick decision that I just made while eating a frosty at Wendy's. No, it has been a lifetime journey beginning when I accepted Jesus as my Savior and committed to live a life of obedience to Him. As I spent more time with Christ and grew older, my heart turned toward missions. After years of mission trips, GA's, summer camps, and listening to missionaries, wouldn't it naturally do that? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think it is just a product of being influenced by childhood because none of my childhood church friends are on this same path (there could be someone I am overlooking). It has got to be deeper than influence. It has to be a calling from Almighty God because who would just be crazy enough to give up the comforts of home to go to K. I sure wouldn't and couldn't.

I have known for about 10 years that this is an adventure that I would love to taste but was scared half to death to do it. Then I met my wonderful husband who had no interest in missions-ha ha- and I married him (gasp). We did have one minor conversation before we were engaged that he brought up. He out of the blue mentioned that a girl broke up with his brother b/c he told her that he would consider missions if God called him to be a missionary. This spurred on a small conversation about being a missionary. After we were married Mark worked for a year at the Buckle and then told me that God was telling him to quit his job. He quits, goes on a mission trip and it has been mission focused since then. The funny thing is that his wife went kicking and screaming all the way for 3 years. I find this humorous b/c I was the one in the first place who had always wanted to go missions and Mark had never really considered it.

Kicking and Screaming woman fell in love with Southeastern Seminary in Wake Forest,NC learned to so much about God's word, and was challenged to not just read and study God's word but to literally obey it. This just produced more kicking and screaming at God and yes I mean literally. Then there was rest. It was almost like Jacob fighting with the angel of the Lord and wouldn't stop so the angel wounded him. God didn't wound me or stop me in my tracks by some bright light. It was love. It was falling in love with a God that loved me so much that He would die on the cross for me. Learning and understanding the depth of God's love propelled me to missions. I am at the point of asking myself daily is my faith so real and true that I would step out in faith and put action to it? or do I just continue in the comforts of everyday life. Do I really believe the Bible so much that I would dedicate my life to spreading its good news? Yes. This is also why I believe that Christ is the only path to heaven. Why would I sell my car, box up all my belongings, and move around the globe to a place where I will have to use a squatty potty if there were more than one path to God? If there was, Pride and Prejudice would be my Bible b/c it can be inspirational at times to me :, but I digress.

God has called all Christians to missions- it might not be overseas, but for me God has directed our life overseas to K. This is my journey.

"Come lose your life to find it" -God
"Come die so you might truly live"- God
"He is no fool, to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose" Jim Elliot